


Obvious tells

by Naarel



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans!Natsuki, it hurts a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 07:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14160015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naarel/pseuds/Naarel
Summary: Natsuki stares into the mirror for a little bit too long.





	Obvious tells

**Author's Note:**

> March the 31st, International Trans Visibility Day. You are all fucking valid, be proud of who you are.
> 
> Also, it's kinda short, but it was meant to be so.

Blank stare into the mirror. It was another one of these moments that made Natsuki so uncomfortable with herself. She couldn't deny that it was her body, but... she'd change everything if she could.

Sometimes, Monika would quietly tell all of them how uncomfortable she feels during depersonalisation episodes. Natsuki always wondered: is it something similar to this thing she experienced? She often wondered if she can tell them about how she envies them, how she envies Monika's voice, Yuri's breasts, Sayori's cute girly figure. These were all these things she'll never have. It was clearly too visible for all the people that she wasn't a  _real_ girl after all. Just a pretender. She'll never be as good as them in all these girly shit that  _normal_ girls do.

Her father was right. She should stop trying.  _People can try, but that's about it._ Animals could do many amazing things that humans could only dream of. Humans can only try to fit, try to make themselves look like they should, try to find love, job and...

Another stare into the mirror, this time more focused, less blurry.

Quiet analysis.

Chest so flat that she could almost see her heart beating, trying to escape this unfitting ribcage. Nothing like that happened, yet... sometimes, it felt like it already did.

And if only she could change the shoulders-hips proportions... maybe then all of these dresses Sayori tried to give her would fit... how wonderful would that be. Skirts are nice, but...dresses - this is one of probably the cutest things this world has to offer. It was nearly impossible to find one that would correspond not only to her height but also all the body proportions. Great, fucking great. 

Another stare into the mirror, this time just angrier and angrier.

Whoever was the person in the mirror, it wasn't Natsuki. Theoretically, it still was. But it was the  _dead version_ , a version that should be left in the past or even better: eradicated from the history completely. 

A punch.

Shards of the mirror scattered across the floor, some stained with blood. 

Another punch, once again, once again, once again, once... again...

 

No more mirror... 

No more judgement and no more stuff that will just bring her down...

No more... 

No more old Natsuki, no more dead Natsuki.

Now, it's only the present version, the version that will exist and kick haters' butts.

She'll break all the mirrors on her path.

Until she can finally look into one of them again.


End file.
